DSI Witness News » Zach Ward http://news.dsicomedy.com DSI Comedy Theater takes over the airwaves to keep you up to date on top stories around the Triangle and beyond. Wed, 28 Jul 2010 17:00:10 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=6531 en hourly 1 Copyright DSI Witness News 2010 zach@dsicomedy.com (DSI Witness News) zach@dsicomedy.com (DSI Witness News) posts 1440 http://news.dsicomedy.com/DSIWN-144.png DSI Witness News » Zach Ward http://news.dsicomedy.com 144 144 DSI Comedy Theater takes over the airwaves to keep you up to date on top stories around the Triangle and beyond. DSI Witness News DSI Witness News zach@dsicomedy.com no no Robert Bapst Themed Headlines http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/robert-bapst-themed-headlines http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/robert-bapst-themed-headlines#comments Fri, 23 Jul 2010 14:17:59 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1950

AARON: It’s the final edition of DSI Witness News: Robert Bapst Tribute Week. I’m Aaron Keck.

MOLLY: I’m Molly Buckley.

ZACH: I’m Zach Ward. And with us once again is our soon-to-be-departed writer, Robert Bapst.

ROBERT: Hey everybody.

ZACH: It’s been a fun and bittersweet week here at DSI Witness News, but the time has come to send Robert off for real.

MOLLY: And we thought, what better way to do it than by having Ron Stutts sing his own karaoke version of Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye?

AARON: But unfortunately, Ron wouldn’t go for it. So we’re doing headline jokes instead.

ZACH: So without further ado—

ROBERT: Here are your Robert Bapst-themed top headlines.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/robert-bapst-themed-headlines/feed 0 3:50 AARON: It’s the final edition of DSI Witness News: Robert Bapst Tribute Week. I’m Aaron Keck. MOLLY: I’m Molly Buckley. ZACH: I’m Zach Ward. And with us ... AARON: It’s the final edition of DSI Witness News: Robert Bapst Tribute Week. I’m Aaron Keck. MOLLY: I’m Molly Buckley. ZACH: I’m Zach Ward. And with us once again is our soon-to-be-departed writer, Robert Bapst. ROBERT: Hey everybody. ZACH: It’s been a fun and bittersweet week here at DSI Witness News, but the time has come to send Robert off for real. MOLLY: And we thought, what better way to do it than by having Ron Stutts sing his own karaoke version of Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye? AARON: But unfortunately, Ron wouldn’t go for it. So we’re doing headline jokes instead. ZACH: So without further ado— ROBERT: Here are your Robert Bapst-themed top headlines. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Where’s Robert Bapst? http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/wheres-robert-bapst http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/wheres-robert-bapst#comments Thu, 22 Jul 2010 18:21:15 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1947 We miss him already and he hasn’t even left.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/wheres-robert-bapst/feed 0 2:59 We miss him already and he hasn't even left. We miss him already and he hasn't even left. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Luke Warm Diggity Days http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/luke-warm-diggity-days http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/luke-warm-diggity-days#comments Fri, 09 Jul 2010 14:21:56 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1900 Zach Ward comes and does bits with Walter Storholt about Hot Diggity Days.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/luke-warm-diggity-days/feed 0 3:49 Zach Ward comes and does bits with Walter Storholt about Hot Diggity Days. Zach Ward comes and does bits with Walter Storholt about Hot Diggity Days. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Zach Does Hillsborough Bits http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/zach-does-hillsborough-bits http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/zach-does-hillsborough-bits#comments Wed, 09 Jun 2010 18:41:44 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1798 Zach Ward came in the 1360 WCHL studios this morning to talk with Ron Stutts about Hillsborough. Bits ensued.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/zach-does-hillsborough-bits/feed 0 3:43 Zach Ward came in the 1360 WCHL studios this morning to talk with Ron Stutts about Hillsborough. Bits ensued. Zach Ward came in the 1360 WCHL studios this morning to talk with Ron Stutts about Hillsborough. Bits ensued. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no A Whole Year! http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/a-whole-year http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/a-whole-year#comments Tue, 04 May 2010 16:00:03 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1608 DSI Witness News is pleased to celebrate a full year on the air with WCHL.  Thanks for listening… to all of us.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/a-whole-year/feed 0 4:07 DSI Witness News is pleased to celebrate a full year on the air with WCHL.  Thanks for listening... to all of us. DSI Witness News is pleased to celebrate a full year on the air with WCHL.  Thanks for listening... to all of us. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Basketball Tears http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/basketball-tears http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/basketball-tears#comments Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:00:30 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1399 UNC Basketball, “Marry Me, Ron Stutts!” promotion going well, new Assistant Manager at Carrboro’s Farmers’ Market, Carrboro KFC closing, Polk Place protest, Chapel Hill and Carrboro applying for Google’s ultra-high-speed internet, Seniors Night at Duke-UNC game, Carolina women’s tennis team #2 in country. Molly Buckley, Kit FitzSimons.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/basketball-tears/feed 0 3:37 UNC Basketball, "Marry Me, Ron Stutts!" promotion going well, new Assistant Manager at Carrboro's Farmers' Market, Carrboro KFC closing, Polk Place protest, Chapel Hill and ... UNC Basketball, "Marry Me, Ron Stutts!" promotion going well, new Assistant Manager at Carrboro's Farmers' Market, Carrboro KFC closing, Polk Place protest, Chapel Hill and Carrboro applying for Google's ultra-high-speed internet, Seniors Night at Duke-UNC game, Carolina women's tennis team #2 in country. Molly Buckley, Kit FitzSimons. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Casual Friday LIVE http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/casual-friday-live http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/casual-friday-live#comments Fri, 05 Mar 2010 17:00:05 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1394 Zach Ward and Aurora Joplin present the headlines — live and unscripted! Zach Ward, Molly Buckley.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/casual-friday-live/feed 0 5:02 Zach Ward and Aurora Joplin present the headlines -- live and unscripted! Zach Ward, Molly Buckley. Zach Ward and Aurora Joplin present the headlines -- live and unscripted! Zach Ward, Molly Buckley. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Dance Marathon http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/dance-marathon http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/dance-marathon#comments Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:00:54 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1382 UNC’s 12th Annual Dance Marathon was held last month to raise money for the NC Children’s Hospital. More than 1000 students stood and danced for an entire day to raise $400,000 — a new record for the event. Joining DSI Witness News to share her experience participating at Dance Marathon is current Carolina student, Kaitlyn Forshore. Zach Ward, Molly Buckley.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/dance-marathon/feed 0 2:33 UNC’s 12th Annual Dance Marathon was held last month to raise money for the NC Children’s Hospital. More than 1000 students stood and danced for ... UNC’s 12th Annual Dance Marathon was held last month to raise money for the NC Children’s Hospital. More than 1000 students stood and danced for an entire day to raise $400,000 -- a new record for the event. Joining DSI Witness News to share her experience participating at Dance Marathon is current Carolina student, Kaitlyn Forshore. Zach Ward, Molly Buckley. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Pittsboro Tsunami http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/pittsboro-tsunami http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/pittsboro-tsunami#comments Tue, 02 Mar 2010 17:00:09 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1376 Carrboro Local Food Community Visioning Committee, 800 pounds of marijuana found in Eden, Donut World opens in Greensboro, tsunami warning canceled in Pittsboro, free “The Full Monty” tickets for 100 unemployed men, cell phone ban in Chapel Hill?, tuition increase at Duke, biotechnology in Pittsboro. Zach Ward, Aaron Keck.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/pittsboro-tsunami/feed 0 3:34 Carrboro Local Food Community Visioning Committee, 800 pounds of marijuana found in Eden, Donut World opens in Greensboro, tsunami warning canceled in Pittsboro, free "The ... Carrboro Local Food Community Visioning Committee, 800 pounds of marijuana found in Eden, Donut World opens in Greensboro, tsunami warning canceled in Pittsboro, free "The Full Monty" tickets for 100 unemployed men, cell phone ban in Chapel Hill?, tuition increase at Duke, biotechnology in Pittsboro. Zach Ward, Aaron Keck. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no How We Do It http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/how-we-do-it http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/how-we-do-it#comments Mon, 01 Mar 2010 17:00:19 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1370 DSI Witness News has been on the air for almost a year now, leaving many of you wondering how we do it, week after week. Zach Ward and Aaron Keck explain the formula that makes us so successful!

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/how-we-do-it/feed 1 4:08 DSI Witness News has been on the air for almost a year now, leaving many of you wondering how we do it, week after week. ... DSI Witness News has been on the air for almost a year now, leaving many of you wondering how we do it, week after week. Zach Ward and Aaron Keck explain the formula that makes us so successful! Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Eddie Brill http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/eddie-brill http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/eddie-brill#comments Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:00:59 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1293 Correspondent Zach Ward interviews Eddie Brill of the Late Show with David Letterman.  Eddie is appearing at 9:00 pm at the Cat’s Cradle on Saturday, February 13th, as part of the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival. Zach Ward, Eddie Brill.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/eddie-brill/feed 0 5:15 Correspondent Zach Ward interviews Eddie Brill of the Late Show with David Letterman.  Eddie is appearing at 9:00 pm at the Cat's Cradle on Saturday, ... Correspondent Zach Ward interviews Eddie Brill of the Late Show with David Letterman.  Eddie is appearing at 9:00 pm at the Cat's Cradle on Saturday, February 13th, as part of the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival. Zach Ward, Eddie Brill. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Judgement Day in RTP http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/judgement-day-in-rtp http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/judgement-day-in-rtp#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:00:27 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1249 Chatham County capital improvements, Wake County students changing classrooms mid-year, Chapel Hill town council member urges hand-held cell phone ban, and “Zach Ward Day.” By the Authority of Mayor Mark Chilton (and Barry Lefler) Zach urges listeners to … GO SUPPORT LIVE COMEDY! Zach Ward, Molly Buckley.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/judgement-day-in-rtp/feed 0 2:50 Chatham County capital improvements, Wake County students changing classrooms mid-year, Chapel Hill town council member urges hand-held cell phone ban, and "Zach Ward Day." By ... Chatham County capital improvements, Wake County students changing classrooms mid-year, Chapel Hill town council member urges hand-held cell phone ban, and "Zach Ward Day." By the Authority of Mayor Mark Chilton (and Barry Lefler) Zach urges listeners to ... GO SUPPORT LIVE COMEDY! Zach Ward, Molly Buckley. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Neville Chiropractic http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/neville-chiropractic http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/neville-chiropractic#comments Wed, 06 Jan 2010 17:00:16 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1126 Aaron Neville joins DSI Witness News to sing about the locally owned Neville Chiropractic located in downtown Carrboro.  Aaron Keck, Zach Ward.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/neville-chiropractic/feed 1 3:07 Aaron Neville joins DSI Witness News to sing about the locally owned Neville Chiropractic located in downtown Carrboro.  Aaron Keck, Zach Ward. Aaron Neville joins DSI Witness News to sing about the locally owned Neville Chiropractic located in downtown Carrboro.  Aaron Keck, Zach Ward. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Egg McMuffins Are People! http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/egg-mcmuffins-are-people http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/egg-mcmuffins-are-people#comments Tue, 05 Jan 2010 17:00:57 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1124 Rush Limbaugh’s chest pains, 911 abuse, truffle troubles in Hillsborough, foreign objects in Chatham County McMuffin, NC prison system not tracking medicines, cell phone study in Triangle, Tiger Woods dropped by AT&T. Zach Ward, Aaron Keck.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/egg-mcmuffins-are-people/feed 0 3:50 Rush Limbaugh's chest pains, 911 abuse, truffle troubles in Hillsborough, foreign objects in Chatham County McMuffin, NC prison system not tracking medicines, cell phone study ... Rush Limbaugh's chest pains, 911 abuse, truffle troubles in Hillsborough, foreign objects in Chatham County McMuffin, NC prison system not tracking medicines, cell phone study in Triangle, Tiger Woods dropped by AT&T. Zach Ward, Aaron Keck. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Aaron’s Ode to 2009 Celebrities http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/ode-to-2009-celebrities http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/ode-to-2009-celebrities#comments Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:00:15 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1118 DSI Witness News correspondent Aaron Keck shares a poem that celebrates the local celebrities of 2009. Zach Ward, Aaron Keck.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/ode-to-2009-celebrities/feed 2 3:41 DSI Witness News correspondent Aaron Keck shares a poem that celebrates the local celebrities of 2009. Zach Ward, Aaron Keck. DSI Witness News correspondent Aaron Keck shares a poem that celebrates the local celebrities of 2009. Zach Ward, Aaron Keck. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Baby New Year http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/baby-new-year http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/baby-new-year#comments Fri, 01 Jan 2010 17:00:08 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1108 Baby New Year joins DSI Witness News to share how he rang in the new year in North Carolina. Zach Ward.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2010/baby-new-year/feed 0 3:32 Baby New Year joins DSI Witness News to share how he rang in the new year in North Carolina. Zach Ward. Baby New Year joins DSI Witness News to share how he rang in the new year in North Carolina. Zach Ward. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no The Oughts http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/the-oughts http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/the-oughts#comments Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:00:58 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1096 DSI Witness News presents a musical review of the ’00s.  Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/the-oughts/feed 1 3:56 DSI Witness News presents a musical review of the '00s.  Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons. DSI Witness News presents a musical review of the '00s.  Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Bread and Milk http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/bread-and-milk http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/bread-and-milk#comments Tue, 22 Dec 2009 17:00:52 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1049 This past weekend, NC was frightened by the prospect of winter weather, right here in the Triangle.  Leche Pan, the owner of several Triangle area convenience stores, joins DSI Witness News to discuss the Triangle’s deep-seated fear of being without bread and milk during their twice or thrice yearly snow scares.  Zach Ward, Amanda Scherle.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/bread-and-milk/feed 0 4:24 This past weekend, NC was frightened by the prospect of winter weather, right here in the Triangle.  Leche Pan, the owner of several Triangle area ... This past weekend, NC was frightened by the prospect of winter weather, right here in the Triangle.  Leche Pan, the owner of several Triangle area convenience stores, joins DSI Witness News to discuss the Triangle’s deep-seated fear of being without bread and milk during their twice or thrice yearly snow scares.  Zach Ward, Amanda Scherle. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Post-Theoretical Storm Disorder http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/post-theoretical-storm-disorder http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/post-theoretical-storm-disorder#comments Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:00:11 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1047 Snow in the Triangle (sort of), untreated waste water spill in Eden, fire on Tinkerbell Road in Chapel Hill, four $5 bills stolen from Kangaroo Express, Senator John Edwards voted “Most Disappointing Public Figure of 2009.” Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/post-theoretical-storm-disorder/feed 0 3:10 Snow in the Triangle (sort of), untreated waste water spill in Eden, fire on Tinkerbell Road in Chapel Hill, four $5 bills stolen from Kangaroo ... Snow in the Triangle (sort of), untreated waste water spill in Eden, fire on Tinkerbell Road in Chapel Hill, four $5 bills stolen from Kangaroo Express, Senator John Edwards voted "Most Disappointing Public Figure of 2009." Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no The Brius http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/the-brius http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/the-brius#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:00:03 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=1001 Mark Jacobson of Mark Jacobson Toyota of Durham has discovered the real meaning of Hanukkah.  Apparently, the Maccabees had a secret that kept the temple lamp burning for so long — the fuel-efficient Brius! Kit FitzSimons, Zach Ward.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/the-brius/feed 0 2:56 Mark Jacobson of Mark Jacobson Toyota of Durham has discovered the real meaning of Hanukkah.  Apparently, the Maccabees had a secret that kept the temple ... Mark Jacobson of Mark Jacobson Toyota of Durham has discovered the real meaning of Hanukkah.  Apparently, the Maccabees had a secret that kept the temple lamp burning for so long -- the fuel-efficient Brius! Kit FitzSimons, Zach Ward. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Classes at Durham Tech http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/classes-at-durham-tech http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/classes-at-durham-tech#comments Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:00:10 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=998 Durham Technical Community College recently sent out survey to the community about what classes Durham Tech should offer the community.  DSI Witness News hit the streets to interview citizens for their opinions.  Zach Ward, Aaron Keck, Kit FitzSimons, Molly Buckley.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/classes-at-durham-tech/feed 0 3:54 Durham Technical Community College recently sent out survey to the community about what classes Durham Tech should offer the community.  DSI Witness News hit the ... Durham Technical Community College recently sent out survey to the community about what classes Durham Tech should offer the community.  DSI Witness News hit the streets to interview citizens for their opinions.  Zach Ward, Aaron Keck, Kit FitzSimons, Molly Buckley. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Not Moving to Wake County… Ever http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/not-moving-to-wake-county-ever http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/not-moving-to-wake-county-ever#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:00:15 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=996 Style Network show “Clean House” in Durham, new principal at Wake County’s Green Elementary School, state-wide speed trap ends, $10k spent on Raleigh city council reception, bogus H1N1 flu vaccine registry email, new masters degree at Duke to develop business and health information technology skills, Fort Bragg training new Green Berets, man breaks into state capitol building and vandalizes Christmas tree. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/not-moving-to-wake-county-ever/feed 0 4:09 Style Network show "Clean House" in Durham, new principal at Wake County's Green Elementary School, state-wide speed trap ends, $10k spent on Raleigh city council ... Style Network show "Clean House" in Durham, new principal at Wake County's Green Elementary School, state-wide speed trap ends, $10k spent on Raleigh city council reception, bogus H1N1 flu vaccine registry email, new masters degree at Duke to develop business and health information technology skills, Fort Bragg training new Green Berets, man breaks into state capitol building and vandalizes Christmas tree. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Pedestrian Island http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/pedestrian-island http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/pedestrian-island#comments Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:00:30 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=993 Last week, the Chapel Hill Town Council announced plans to spend $350,000 in Federal stimulus money to build pedestrian islands along MLK Blvd. The former first mate of the S.S. Minnow, Gilligan, joins DSI Witness News to explain why pedestrian islands are evil… in song! Zach Ward, Aaron Keck.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/pedestrian-island/feed 0 3:18 Last week, the Chapel Hill Town Council announced plans to spend $350,000 in Federal stimulus money to build pedestrian islands along MLK Blvd. The former ... Last week, the Chapel Hill Town Council announced plans to spend $350,000 in Federal stimulus money to build pedestrian islands along MLK Blvd. The former first mate of the S.S. Minnow, Gilligan, joins DSI Witness News to explain why pedestrian islands are evil... in song! Zach Ward, Aaron Keck. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Buy Carrboro http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/buy-carrboro http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/buy-carrboro#comments Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:00:59 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=985 Orange County Board of Commissioners to decide on new location for solid waste, Carrboro carpenter creates Go game board for Chinese Premier Hu, encouraging local buying in Carrboro, “Christmas in the Big House, Christmas in the Quarters” event at Historic Stagville, Carrboro-CH School Board has doubts about changing honors system to “hybrid model,” positive outcome from federal investigation of John Edwards?, “Winning Isn’t Everything” documentary shown at Varsity Theatre, the real reason why Chapel Hill bus system didn’t merge with TTA. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/buy-carrboro/feed 0 3:37 Orange County Board of Commissioners to decide on new location for solid waste, Carrboro carpenter creates Go game board for Chinese Premier Hu, encouraging local ... Orange County Board of Commissioners to decide on new location for solid waste, Carrboro carpenter creates Go game board for Chinese Premier Hu, encouraging local buying in Carrboro, "Christmas in the Big House, Christmas in the Quarters" event at Historic Stagville, Carrboro-CH School Board has doubts about changing honors system to "hybrid model," positive outcome from federal investigation of John Edwards?, "Winning Isn't Everything" documentary shown at Varsity Theatre, the real reason why Chapel Hill bus system didn't merge with TTA. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no More Eggnog, Please http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/more-eggnog-please http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/more-eggnog-please#comments Fri, 04 Dec 2009 17:00:17 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=955 2nd grader gets his Flat Stanley back from President Obama, Wilmington blood center wraps up “Tired of Turkey Days” blood drive, psychology professor recommends lowering holiday expectations, Carrboro High football players mentoring elementary school students, coyotes on RDU’s runways. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/more-eggnog-please/feed 0 3:00 2nd grader gets his Flat Stanley back from President Obama, Wilmington blood center wraps up "Tired of Turkey Days" blood drive, psychology professor recommends lowering ... 2nd grader gets his Flat Stanley back from President Obama, Wilmington blood center wraps up "Tired of Turkey Days" blood drive, psychology professor recommends lowering holiday expectations, Carrboro High football players mentoring elementary school students, coyotes on RDU's runways. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no The Anti-Strom http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/the-anti-strom http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/the-anti-strom#comments Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:00:30 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=953 The Chapel Hill Town Council has been short a member ever since the abrupt and unexpected departure of evil genius Bill Strom.  UNC President Erskine Bowles joins DSI Witness News to announce his support for an unexpected replacement for the town council. But can this person defeat the infamous and seemingly all-powerful Bill Strom?!? Zach Ward, Aaron Keck, Kit FitzSimons.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/the-anti-strom/feed 0 4:20 The Chapel Hill Town Council has been short a member ever since the abrupt and unexpected departure of evil genius Bill Strom.  UNC President Erskine ... The Chapel Hill Town Council has been short a member ever since the abrupt and unexpected departure of evil genius Bill Strom.  UNC President Erskine Bowles joins DSI Witness News to announce his support for an unexpected replacement for the town council. But can this person defeat the infamous and seemingly all-powerful Bill Strom?!? Zach Ward, Aaron Keck, Kit FitzSimons. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Kissing Santas? http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/kissing-santas http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/kissing-santas#comments Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:00:37 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=951 Santas urged not to kiss to prevent spread of flu, hallucinogenic salvia divinorum now illegal in NC (but still allowed for landscaping), moving from tobacco to corn, contract to host World Beer Festival in Durham canceled, Cary man slammed car into hot dog stand, doorknobs stolen from Durham home, $1000 worth of food stolen from another Durham home. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/kissing-santas/feed 0 3:18 Santas urged not to kiss to prevent spread of flu, hallucinogenic salvia divinorum now illegal in NC (but still allowed for landscaping), moving from tobacco ... Santas urged not to kiss to prevent spread of flu, hallucinogenic salvia divinorum now illegal in NC (but still allowed for landscaping), moving from tobacco to corn, contract to host World Beer Festival in Durham canceled, Cary man slammed car into hot dog stand, doorknobs stolen from Durham home, $1000 worth of food stolen from another Durham home. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Mayor Chilton and the Booty Virus http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/mayor-chilton-and-the-booty-virus http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/mayor-chilton-and-the-booty-virus#comments Tue, 01 Dec 2009 17:00:26 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=949 Carrborro Mayor Mark Chilton joins DSI Witness News to discuss… the truth.  Watch out for the Facebook “booty” virus! Zach Ward, Mark Chilton.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/mayor-chilton-and-the-booty-virus/feed 2 3:47 Carrborro Mayor Mark Chilton joins DSI Witness News to discuss... the truth.  Watch out for the Facebook "booty" virus! Zach Ward, Mark Chilton. Carrborro Mayor Mark Chilton joins DSI Witness News to discuss... the truth.  Watch out for the Facebook "booty" virus! Zach Ward, Mark Chilton. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Zombie Homeowners http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/zombie-homeowners http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/zombie-homeowners#comments Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:00:08 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=943 Mayor Kevin Foy pardons local turkey, Santa pictures at PetSmart, sanitary sewer overflow, vandalizing port-o-john now a crime, Sarah Palin at Fort Bragg, “home sales rise from the dead,” texting while driving now a $100 fine, Durham police officer arrested for DWI, robbery during after-hours deposit from Jiffy Lube. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/zombie-homeowners/feed 0 4:13 Mayor Kevin Foy pardons local turkey, Santa pictures at PetSmart, sanitary sewer overflow, vandalizing port-o-john now a crime, Sarah Palin at Fort Bragg, "home sales ... Mayor Kevin Foy pardons local turkey, Santa pictures at PetSmart, sanitary sewer overflow, vandalizing port-o-john now a crime, Sarah Palin at Fort Bragg, "home sales rise from the dead," texting while driving now a $100 fine, Durham police officer arrested for DWI, robbery during after-hours deposit from Jiffy Lube. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no Sleepy Black Friday http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/sleepy-black-friday http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/sleepy-black-friday#comments Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:00:53 +0000 DSI Witness News http://news.dsicomedy.com/?p=937 Doctor Faustus at UNC, mutated strain of H1N1 virus at Duke, ABC’s Extreme Makeover Home Edition in Lexington, NC, Daily Tar Heel moving off campus, Turn the Towns Pink program, UNC endowment has shrunk, UNC students encourage to get more sleep. Zach Ward, Molly Buckley.

]]> http://news.dsicomedy.com/2009/sleepy-black-friday/feed 0 3:16 Doctor Faustus at UNC, mutated strain of H1N1 virus at Duke, ABC's Extreme Makeover Home Edition in Lexington, NC, Daily Tar Heel moving off campus, ... Doctor Faustus at UNC, mutated strain of H1N1 virus at Duke, ABC's Extreme Makeover Home Edition in Lexington, NC, Daily Tar Heel moving off campus, Turn the Towns Pink program, UNC endowment has shrunk, UNC students encourage to get more sleep. Zach Ward, Molly Buckley. Radio Episodes zach@dsicomedy.com no no