DSI Comedy Theater takes over the airwaves to keep you up to date on top stories around the Triangle and beyond.
Posts tagged ‘Top Headlines’
Fiona is leaving for college, Aaron is now working at WCHL, Mark Chilton wins an Emmy, underage drinking citations on the rise, an incompetent SBI, Southern Season, PETA in Massachusetts, and New Hope Elementary School has crying arteries.
Molly Buckley is waiting in line for a year of free Krispy Kreme. Meanwhile, the headlines are Deon Thompson is My Big Fat Greek Point Guard, Socks = Buffalo Wings, Tennessee is scared of UNC, Never Mocking a School Shooting, Whooping Cough is a serious threat.
Hillsborough Police Department’s Accreditation, $250 Rewards for the missing statue, “I HEART KIT FITZSIMONS TATTOOS”, Selling alcohol to minors, First rule of Farmer’s Market, Santa or a Pimp?, and the reason for laughing in a courtroom.
UNC School of Education turns 125, UNC Student Themed Housing, Marvin Austin looks like a bank robber, Carolina Blue socials, Extra-Kick back tutoring money, Abandoned Land = Carolina North?, Visits to the DOG house, and Jose Cuervo alleviates pain?
Molly Buckley, Kit FitzSimons, and Aaron Keck are CALLING ALL WRITERS!
Kit FitzSimons and Molly Buckley bring you the headlines.
Molly Buckley, Aaron Keck, and Kit FitzSimons bring you today’s top headlines.
Molly Buckley and Aaron Keck read today’s headlines.
Kit FitzSimons and Molly Buckley bring you today’s top headlines.
Molly would like to apologize for her inability to speak the English language.
AARON: It’s the final edition of DSI Witness News: Robert Bapst Tribute Week. I’m Aaron Keck.
MOLLY: I’m Molly Buckley.
ZACH: I’m Zach Ward. And with us once again is our soon-to-be-departed writer, Robert Bapst.
ROBERT: Hey everybody.
ZACH: It’s been a fun and bittersweet week here at DSI Witness News, but the time has come to send Robert off for real.
MOLLY: And we thought, what better way to do it than by having Ron Stutts sing his own karaoke version of Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye?
AARON: But unfortunately, Ron wouldn’t go for it. So we’re doing headline jokes instead.
ZACH: So without further ado—
ROBERT: Here are your Robert Bapst-themed top headlines.
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