Archive for the ‘Radio Episodes’ Category.

Aurora Runs for Town Clerk

This Tuesday, our head writer Aaron Keck begins a new job as a news writer for 1360 WCHL, which means he will no longer be appearing here on DSI Witness News, either as an anchor or as a real-life character—though you may hear him from time to time as a fictional character, should the situation arise. In a totally unrelated story, the Carrboro Board of Aldermen is interviewing candidates to replace outgoing town clerk Sarah Williamson, who’s stepping down after 37 years. Joining us today is one of the leading candidates: self-proclaimed Clerk Of The Future, and Carrboro citizen extraordinaire, Ms. Aurora Joplin.

Mark Kleinschmidt Preserves Town History

In a totally unrelated story, Chapel Hill mayor Mark Kleinschmidt met with officials from the now-defunct Chapel Hill Museum earlier this month to discuss ways to preserve the town’s history. He joins us today.

Maximillien de Reobespierre on the NCAA Investigation

The NCAA controversy surrounding UNC football continues to rage, with calls for the heads of athletic director Dick Baddour and head coach Butch Davis. And at least one man is taking this call… very seriously. Joining us today in the studio, a man with more than a little experience with heads—French Revolutionary dictator, Maximillien de Robespierre.

Sammy Slade Picks a Bank

In a totally unrelated story, the Carrboro Board of Aldermen remains deadlocked this week as the members try to decide which bank they’re going to use to handle the town treasury. Joining us to explain this issue further is Carrboro Alderman Sammy Slade.

Mark Chilton Wins an Emmy

Fiona is leaving for college, Aaron is now working at WCHL, Mark Chilton wins an Emmy, underage drinking citations on the rise, an incompetent SBI, Southern Season, PETA in Massachusetts, and New Hope Elementary School has crying arteries.

UNC President Tom Ross

MOLLY: Beginning next month, Aaron will be working as a news writer here at 1360 WCHL. Which means he can no longer appear on DSI Witness News as an anchor OR play the voice of a real-life person, like Sammy Slade, or Mark Kleinschmidt, or everybody’s favorite, Erskine Bowles, the Flying Fist of Justice.

AARON: Sad but true.

MOLLY: In a completely unrelated story, yesterday, the UNC Board of Governors elected Davidson College President Tom Ross to replace Erskine Bowles as UNC system president.

AARON: And so, joining us in the studio today, is our newly elected UNC president, and all-new DSI Witness News character, the honorable Tom Ross.

Dorm Supply Drive

It’s back to school week here in Chapel Hill, and the American Red Cross is marking the occasion with a three-day on-campus blood drive, yesterday, today and tomorrow at UNC.  Here to say more is Red Cross spokesperson, Kenny Chambers.

Tattoo Taylor

For those of you who’ve been following us this week, we were not first in line this morning at the new Krispy Kreme. And speaking of things we’re not getting for free, the owner of Open Eye Cafe in Carrboro has announced that he will no longer be giving free coffee to customers who get the Open Eye logo tattooed on their bodies. However, we have found one man who says you CAN get free swag from OTHER businesses in the area with just a few select tattoos. Joining us today in the studio, Carrboro hipster, August Taylor.

Molly Still Waits for Krispy Kreme

Molly went to grab food, and Kit lost their place in the Krispy Kreme line. Find out what happens…

Molly Waits in Line for Krispy Kreme

Molly Buckley is waiting in line for a year of free Krispy Kreme. Meanwhile, the headlines are Deon Thompson is My Big Fat Greek Point Guard, Socks = Buffalo Wings, Tennessee is scared of UNC, Never Mocking a School Shooting, Whooping Cough is a serious threat.