Archive for July 2010

What do YOU want in a Superintendent?

Chapel Hill-Carrboro school superintendent Neil Pedersen will be retiring at the end of this school year, and the search is already on for his replacement. We here at DSI Witness News thought we’d help out by asking what YOU want in your next superintendent—and so, we go live to Kit FitzSimons on the street in downtown Chapel Hill. Kit, what’s going on?

Andy Savage: NCAA Investigation

UNC’s football team has been at the center of a NCAA investigation this past week, as officials have tried to determine if any rules have been broken by agents giving inappropriate giftsto select members of the team. This investigation could have a huge impact on future UNC sports players. With us to comment is UNC hopeful, Chapel Hill High School sophomore, and possible illegitimate son of a famous sports star himself, Andy Savage.

Mobile Poultry Slaughterhouse Slaughterhouse

For the last year, Lee Menius of China Grove has been operating a MOBILE POULTRY SLAUGHTERHOUSE for farmers on a trailer he pulls behind his pickup truck. Unfortunately, notoriety comes with a price, and Menius has attracted some unwanted attention for his ingenuity. Joining us to talk about his anti-slaughterhouse protest movement, is the president of the Carrboro Militant Vegan Society–uh, Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Is that your real name?

SunTrusts of ADVENTURE!

Durham City officials are considering chipping in more business incentives to help Greenfire Development convert downtown Durham’s historic SunTrust tower into a 165-room boutique hotel. With us today to discuss the proposal is DSI Witness News’ own construction expert, Gino Fontinelli.

What’s an Uptick?

Kit FitzSimons and Molly Buckley bring you today’s top headlines.

Molly would like to apologize for her inability to speak the English language.

Robert Bapst Themed Headlines

AARON: It’s the final edition of DSI Witness News: Robert Bapst Tribute Week. I’m Aaron Keck.

MOLLY: I’m Molly Buckley.

ZACH: I’m Zach Ward. And with us once again is our soon-to-be-departed writer, Robert Bapst.

ROBERT: Hey everybody.

ZACH: It’s been a fun and bittersweet week here at DSI Witness News, but the time has come to send Robert off for real.

MOLLY: And we thought, what better way to do it than by having Ron Stutts sing his own karaoke version of Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye?

AARON: But unfortunately, Ron wouldn’t go for it. So we’re doing headline jokes instead.

ZACH: So without further ado—

ROBERT: Here are your Robert Bapst-themed top headlines.

Where’s Robert Bapst?

We miss him already and he hasn’t even left.

Steel Cut Hot Dogs

It’s July, and that means it’s time to celebrate National Hot Dog Month, that special time of year when folks all over America step outside to cook up some hot dogs and enjoy those warm summer nights. And joining us again today with a message for National Hot Dog Month, is Mister Steel Cut himself, Wilford Brimley.

Mr. Wifflefizz the Baby Lemur

Two young lemurs made international news last week when they escaped from a zoo in Salzburg, Austria, only to be recaptured days later–in a hotel bar. Joining us today to shed some light on all this is a very special guest from Duke University’s Lemur Center–Mr. Wifflefizz.

Robert Bapst Tribute Week

It’s the first day of Robert Bapst tribute week – a week where every piece is dedicated to Robert Bapst.