DSI Comedy Theater takes over the airwaves to keep you up to date on top stories around the Triangle and beyond.
Orange County solid waste going to Durham, Carrboro community activists’ candlelight vigil, Durham’s Kitchen Table Conversation seeks new public school superintendent (in song). Aaron Keck, Kit FitzSimons.
Lyrics to “The Perfect Superintendent”
(sung to the tune of The Perfect Nanny from Mary Poppins)
If you want this choice position
You will have to meet the following condition:
Never have a scandal or dress in disarray,
And always do whatever we say.
You must be moral to the letter,
Diversity is good, but monogamy is better,
Take our kids on field trips, take them to the Fair—
Please, just keep them out of our hair!
Never be cruel—unless
You have to make the kid who’s bullying my son confess!
Never get drunk on liquor,
And never post naked pics on Flickr…
Our standardized test scores must get higher,
Or your sweet patootie we will fire!
We’ve got potential we want to fulfill—
So we can look down on those jerks in Chapel Hill—
Don’t be fools—
Sincerely, Durham Public Schools!