Bill Strom Returns (Again) to Sing
The Chapel Hill Town Council has finally found a replacement for former council member (and evil genius) Bill Strom. Here to offer his words of… er, congratulations, is Bill Strom himself! Aaron Keck, Kit FitzSimons.
The Evil Strom Song
(sung to the tune of “The Grinch”)
I’m a mean one, I’m Bill Strom
I hear you filled my seat!
My replacement, listen carefully,
’cause you’re in for a treat
Being Strom!
You get to be the one
who convinces the Council to install
A toll booth on Franklin Street!
You’ll need practice being Strom
My work was full of worth
I unbalanced UNC by-proposing Carolina North!
I’m Bill Strom!
The sheer amount of bicycle traffic required between the two campuses will cause enough friction to power my lunar death ray by 2012. Spoiler alert…-th!
You’re all slacking at being Strom.
You need to get to work.
You need TO retire from the Council
and move to New York
to be Strom.
You can’t just be evil; that’s not enough…
You need to be a jeeeerk!
And by April, as a Strom
If you follow these Rules
You’ll be dictator of Chapel Hill
I’ve given you the tools
To be Strom!
And remember when crushing insignificant insects like Penny Rich and Mark Kleinschmidt, say as follows, and I quote:
…”Fools! Fools! Fools!”
Bum.