Aaron and the Chipmunks

DSI Witness News is dedicated to bringing you hard hitting, fast breaking news.  Here with a summary of the the DSI Witness News philosophy (in song) are our fastest reporters, Aaron and the Chipmunks!  Molly Buckley, Bryan Barnes, Kit FitzSimons, Aaron Keck.


  1. DSI Witness News says:

    MOLLY: It’s another edition of DSI Witness News. I’m Molly Buckley. The holiday season is a time for fun and laughter, but as 2009 comes to a close, we here at DSI Witness News want to reaffirm our dedication to bringing you the most hard-hitting, fast-breaking news in the Triangle. We know when you want fast-breaking news, you want it FAST… so, here are our three hardest-hitting… or at least our three fastest reporters, Aaron and the Chipmunks. All right you Chipmunks! Ready to recite the DSI Witness News Mission Statement?

    KIT: I’ll say we are!

    BRYAN: Yeah!

    AARON: Let’s sing it now!

    MOLLY: Okay, Bryan Barnes?

    BRYAN: Okay!

    MOLLY: Okay, Kit Fitz – Simon?

    KIT: It’s FitzSimons.!

    MOLLY: Okay, Aaron? Aaron? AARON!

    AARON: OKAY!!!

    Christmas, Christmas time is near
    Time for Foy to disappear
    We’ll mock the news, we’ll do it live
    8:20 and 5:55
    We’ll twist headlines, we’ll spit the troof

    AARON: We’ll still make fun of Kevin WOOlff!

    We’ll trash talk those who’re dumb and mean
    And Homegrown Halloween.

    MOLLY: Okay fellas get ready. Very good Bryan Barnes.

    BRYAN: Awwww.

    MOLLY: That was very good, Kit Fitz – Simon.

    KIT: I work with you daily; it’s pronounced FitzSIMONS

    MOLLY: Ah, Aaron, you forced that rhyme a little, watch it. Aaron? Aaron? AARON!


    We’ll mock the news, all off the cuff

    AARON: And we’ll get sued by Kevin Wuhlff

    He’s almost, like, half of the show
    The other’s Pittsboro.

    MOLLY: Very good, boys

    AARON: Lets sing it again!

    KIT: Yeah, this time with Ron doing contrabass!

    MOLLY: No, That’s enough, lets not overdo it

    BRYAN: What do you mean overdo it?

    AARON: Since when does DSI Witness News NOT overdo it?

    MOLLY: Now wait a minute, boys

    BRYAN: Why CAN’T we sing it again?

    BRYAN, KIT, AARON: [overlapping chipmunk chatter]

    MOLLY: Aaron, cut that out..Bryan Barnes, just a minute. Kit Fitz – Simon will you cut that out?

    KIT: It’s FitzSimons!

    MOLLY: Boys…!

  2. Bryan saying “Why Can’t we sing it again?” makes me laugh every time