Archive for November 2009

Zombie Homeowners

Mayor Kevin Foy pardons local turkey, Santa pictures at PetSmart, sanitary sewer overflow, vandalizing port-o-john now a crime, Sarah Palin at Fort Bragg, “home sales rise from the dead,” texting while driving now a $100 fine, Durham police officer arrested for DWI, robbery during after-hours deposit from Jiffy Lube. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons.

Sleepy Black Friday

Doctor Faustus at UNC, mutated strain of H1N1 virus at Duke, ABC’s Extreme Makeover Home Edition in Lexington, NC, Daily Tar Heel moving off campus, Turn the Towns Pink program, UNC endowment has shrunk, UNC students encourage to get more sleep. Zach Ward, Molly Buckley.

Thanksgiving Week Hiatus

DSI Witness News will be taking a break through Thanksgiving Day. We apologize to all of our fans, especially Ron Stutts.

We will be back with a fresh episode on Black Friday. In the meantime, please enjoy these recommended classic episodes:

Marching to Pasadena

Attempted robbery at Winston-Salem Pizza Hut, new Rockingham fire department station “rises from the farmland,” former State Treasurer Richard Moore invested $500 M in firm that now employs him, 23rd Annual Christmas Candlelight Tour of Hillsborough, NCCU band to march in 2011 Tournament of Roses, NC college students don’t know enough about debt, Chapel Hill-Carrboro Chamber of Commerce to host year-end gala and salute. Zach Ward, Molly Buckley.

Dangerous and Dirty

Theft of spacewalk moon bounce, new time limits on tethering dogs, most Chapel Hill voters happy with town’s growth rate, but 51% of residents say Chapel Hill on the “wrong track,” Orange County Tax Office not responding to citizens’ inquiries, “Screwed by Town of Cary” sign, green protest at UNC. Zach Ward, Molly Buckley.

Steven Seagal, Hall Monitor

Steven Seagal discusses an exciting new anti-bullying program coming on the heels of the School Violence Prevention Act that passed the General Assembly this past summer. Kit FitzSimons, Robert Bapst.

Aurora Joplin, Poet

Perennial candidate Aurora Joplin announces her candidacy for Poet Laureate of Carrboro. Zach Ward, Molly Buckley.

Tom Edgar Turkey

Tom Edgar Turkey, founder of the non-profit advocacy organization “No One Should Celebrate December Holidays Before The Fourth Thursday Of November,” shares his disgust with the creeping of December holidays into November and his plans to remedy the situation. Kit FitzSimons, Amanda Scherle.

Friday the Thirteenth

WCHL minority owner and grand poobah Barry Leffler shares his plan to remove bad luck from the Town of Chapel Hill. Zach Ward, Kit FitzSimons, Barry Leffler (seriously, the real Barry Leffler).

The McRib

South Smithfield deer hunt, hazmat situation at Knightdale McDonald’s, Chapel Hill public campaign financing, man drives into Burke County courthouse, Red Cross homecoming T-shirt competition, Raleigh taxi drivers under new dress code, Chapel Hill police officer spots nude joggers, Durham police investigate mosque break-in. Kit FitzSimons, Aaron Keck.